render your rhythm: starting NOW.

I like writing, and alliteration so humor me. Summer is great. God is faithful. Circumstances are good. 

I sit here writing to you all with a full heart and atrophied spiritual muscles. My hunger for God and subsequent rhythm of getting alone with Him has lost its grip on my daily routines and I am spiritually unstable. It's a good thing I have God's grace to cover my weakness and shortcoming. 

This summer, I am residing in the heavenly realms of Montana. I get the privilege of interning at Fresh Life Church. Can you say hashtag blessed. Follow @freshlife to see what I’m up to as Social Media Intern. If you don’t know me that well, I love ministry and Montana, so I pretty much die everyday when I remember what I get to do.

This internship is heavy-laden with homework: including watching teachings, reading theological books, and the like. This work is super inspiring and encouraging and spirit-filling. I am so thankful to have this season where I can learn and get inspired. 

This season of learning consists of lots of listening to the word being taught to me. It goes like this: sitting in church, being spoon-fed the word of God and feeling the weight of it as told by a pastor, then talking about Jesus with God-fearing friends, then going home and putting on a podcast. Super faith-enriching, but here’s the thing: no spiritual muscles of my own are required in my engagement with the word other than my willingness to set aside time. So that is what has happened without me even realizing it. My spiritual muscles have become atrophied, my hunger for God has not been registered as a need to dive into scripture, because it’s become easier to just put on a sermon by someone who knows God’s word better than me.

But the truth is that NOTHING should serve as as substitute for our own in-breaths of God’s word and our out-breaths of prayer. My friend Kristen said that, she is a gem. Communal faith has its benefits and being planted in a Church home is of such vital importance. But do not forsake your own relationship with God for your own formula of religion. Don’t become so in love with Christian music or ministry that you forget about your first love, Jesus. 

My ease in praying and reading the Bible has become quiet and difficult to re-approach. As the spiritual habits of prayer and bible time slip from my grip, they become harder to grasp, harder to re-approach. And once I realized I was spiritually atrophied, it’s almost like it was time to go back to square uno. 

My mind was thinking “uhhh, where do I begin? I can’t just open the Bible… God knows it’s been a few days since I have and I just can’t bare His disappointment in me.” {irrational bc God loves me no matter what I do... but do you ever feel this way?}

or like “I can’t begin praying because I have SO much to catch up on." {low key stupid mind-talk}

Let’s not forget that if we don’t start NOW, when ever will we? Oh shoooot, that's convictin'.

The bible says “work out your salvation with fear and trembling”. (Philippians 2:12). WERK. IT OUT. Get alone with Him, start with the words that you know, the place where you are. Be patient with yourself as God is patient with you. He's waiting for you.

So Jesus is constant despite the season; but I would argue our hunger and pursuit for Jesus needs also to remain in the fruit-filled seasons as much as it does in the dry seasons. Get alone with God, your soul needs this nourishment! Even if you feel like maybe today you’ve got this one on your own; your soul with thank you for the time you surrender to basking in His restoring presence.