Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Meet my Newness

Dear Annie,

Where to begin... It has been weeks months since I've sat down to write and weeks months since I've felt the mental space to do so. Surprisingly, it's not the wedding that has clouded my thought processes (the ten-day countdown begins today!!!!), or really any specific change that has occurred in the past two months. The only thing I can really put my finger on is the Newness of it all. I haven't settled into a rhythm with my weekly work schedule, I haven't nailed down the things I need to do everyday (or most days) for self care, and I don't have a list of my favorite places, restaurants or hikes.

Soon, possibly very soon, Newness will fade and Normalcy will take it's place; I'll have my routines and preferences and most likely feel more settled than I do now; this fact is neither good nor bad, just the ebb and flow of life. With this fact of life in mind, however, I feel proud of myself for allowing Newness to take up space in my mind. These types of enormous life changes are rare and, to an extent, sacred; they deserve to be fully embraced. And truthfully, I believe I have...

For example: I have waited in line for 50 minutes for my first taste of the best ice cream in Denver (Little Man's), taken free swing dancing lessons in public, spontaneously searched for the best wine bar in Denver to celebrate the simple fact that it was a Friday night, hosted our first guests for dinner our apartment, and ran my first marathon! (Just kidding on the last one, but it's on the bucket list for sure).

Granted, my everyday life is not a cannonball into the deep end of Newness that fills my life, but my days are significantly different both from one another and from my days 2 months ago, and for the most part, I've embraced that. (Disclaimer: I haven't figured out how or why yet- any thoughts?)

The acceptance I feel about my life and the changes that have occurred also give me a deep sense of hope. Things are going to keep changing: single to married, living alone to living with someone else, and I might even be starting a new job soon (that's a whole other topic). But I have hope that the Lord will use that Newness, as he uses all things, for His glory and my good if I trust him with those changes and ask for His guidance and wisdom. I have A LOT of learning to do, and probably a lot of mistakes to make, but I feel more equipped to fail and to learn than I ever have in my life. Maybe that's a newfound maturity or a new sense of open mindedness regarding God's plan for my life--who knows? All I know is it's new, and I'm trying my darnedest to live into it.

In which areas of your life are you experiencing Newness? (if any)
Have you found yourself becoming more spontaneous or more planned/orderly as you've gotten older?
Any new experiences you've had in your own hometown recently?

Love you tons,

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